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What do you think of my writing?
It's good!
40%
 40%  [ 2 ]
It's ok...
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
It sucks.
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
Nobody gives a f*ck, Carnby. Die in a fire.
60%
 60%  [ 3 ]
Total Votes : 5

Carnby

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re: Creative Writing

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Fiveyoushi babbled on and on about the demons and voices. He hobbled along, staff in hand into a tavern full of orcs. They were cavorting about, happy that they had finished their shifts for the day. As he entered though, they went silent, sensing his presence. Immediately, a huge orc approached him with the intention to remove him from the tavern.

YOU OUT NOW.” the orc boomed, spewing saliva and partially chewed food onto Fiveyoushi's facemask. He attempted to reach towards the troll, but shrieked in pain. The room turned, looking on in horror as the burly orc's arm was engulfed in greenish-black flame. The fel-fire traveled up the orc's arm, torso, and head. The orc wailed in pain and fell to his knees, burning to death. Fiveyoushi let fourth a small chuckle as the orc finally collapsed dead at his feet.

 

The orcs roared in fury seeing their companion die at his hand. They scrambled at him, trying to rip him to shreds. Fiveyoushi danced backwards, avoiding the first orc that fell in front of him. He took a deep breath and exhaled pure demonic breath, causing the horde of orcs in front of him to gasp for air and stumble further. Fiveyoushi smiled and turned from the coughing heap of orcs and closed the tavern door as he left. He then walked down the street, the tavern burning to the ground behind him from the fire falling from the sky.



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youshi
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re: Creative Writing

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10/10 would read again.

sugarqts

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I enjoyed the descriptive narrative, adjectives chosen and imagery. i'd /rp slow walk to this.

 

suggestion: more totem touching, in slow motion, with pillow fights- the victor gets the pillow case with bricks in it.



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if i make you breakfast in bed, "thank you" is all I need. none of this "how did you get in my house" business.
Suffokateqt
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You make us sound like serial killers tbh

sugarqts

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Suffokateqt wrote:

You make us sound like serial killers tbh

 

someone has to keep the population control on fruit loops. they could strike any time.

 

serial...cereal...seewutididthar?



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if i make you breakfast in bed, "thank you" is all I need. none of this "how did you get in my house" business.
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